How to write believable dialogue for sex scenes

Us humans do it a lot. Your parents certainly did it. Your grandparents too. I’m willing to bet you’ve done it. Or at least you’ve fantasised about doing it, which is almost the same thing.

Sex.

It’s got to be one of the few things we still have in common with our ancestors right back to the apes. And I doubt it’s changed that much. Sure, we might have come up with a few new moves. Maybe they didn’t have all the toys we have now. But as a species we’ve been fucking since time began.

So if we’re all so experienced, why is it so difficult to write about?

Real sex

Surely this is a simple problem to fix, right? After all, if we’re all at it like behemian rabbits on viagra then all we have to do is take a…