Writing about tentacles is hit and miss. Go too far one way and you end up with something icky and rapey, too far the other way and you get a comical and decidedly unsexy cartoon piece. Well, fear no more! Auntie Nicci is here to guide you to the hits and help you avoid the misses with a very quick delve into what makes tentacles teasing and fun.

So, let’s talk about tentacles.

Turning Japanese

OK, so we can’t really talk about tentacles without talking about Japan. Nor would I want to, because there’s an important point right here at the genesis of tentacle porn, back in the early 1800s (the Edo period for the nerds out there), when a bored Japanese artist decided to do a wood carving of one of his favourite stories: The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife. Specifically, he liked one particular scene, where a woman gets pursued by two anthropomorphic octopuses who proceed to pleasure her with their many arms.

And pleasure is the key. You see, even though the carving was almost certainly made to help the artist and his friends have a good wank, the dialogue in the picture makes it very clear that the cephalopods aren’t the only ones enjoying themselves.

Which means that right from the start, consent was key, and for that I bow in respect to the Japanese artist.

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